A Place of Grace
Kevin & Sherry Harney
Rev. Dr. Kevin G. Harney and Sherry Harney are the co-founders of Organic Outreach International. They have each written many books, including three books together, and over 100 small group study guides in partnership with Max Lucado, Dallas Willard, Randy Frazee, Ann Voskamp, Gary Thomas, Christine Caine, Mark Batterson, Jim Cymbala, and others.
The message of the Gospel is grace to the core. The apostle Paul put it this way, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works so that no one can boast.” (Eph. 2:8) The gift of Jesus, His death on the cross, the payment for our sins, the glory of the resurrection… none of these are earned or deserved. They are gifts of grace. God knows all about our sins and He entered human history to die for us anyway. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) When a home is filled with grace, it will flow freely into the neighborhood and community.
Parents live the Gospel in their home when they believe in grace, walk in grace, and extend it to others…including their children. Dads and moms can be firm and consistent with discipline, when it is needed, and still lavish their children with grace. Grace is not about spoiling kids. It is about being quick to forgive, committed to restoration, and lavished with kindness and love. Our children should be reminded, regularly, that they are loved by God, precious in His sight, and valued more than they dream.
Grace rules a home when parents tell stories of how they have received the forgiveness of Jesus and ways they experience His love daily as they walk with the Savior day by day. Parents set an example for their children when they repeat the story of their conversion again and again with awe-struck humility. They also inspire their kids as they talk freely about how God loves, guides, helps, and forgives in the normal flow of life.
The joy of grace permeates a family when parents can admit their frailties, faults, and foibles to their kids and rejoice that they are saved by grace, and grace alone. Sherry and I have both experienced moments when we handled something poorly with our boys and we had to go to them and ask for forgiveness. These have become sacred moments when our boys discovered that parents need grace too.
Children begin to understand grace as their parents forgive them quickly and remind them that God has already dealt with their wrongs and sins on the cross. We don’t hold mistakes or even sins over the heads of our children. When they have messed up and confess it, we can model the love of God and remind them that Jesus’ blood shed on the cross is always enough to wash them clean.
The culture of a home becomes grace-oriented when parents refuse to speak judgmental words about people in their community, church, or extended family when they are not present. If we have sharp tongues and critical spirits behind the closed doors of our home, it becomes a place of un-grace. We can declare that we believe and live in the love of God, but our words become a testament that grace is not ruling in our hearts and homes.
If the Gospel is going to be caught and taught, with integrity, we must let grace rule our actions and guide our lips. As we do this, the presence and message of Jesus will be seen in our home and our children will experience it firsthand.
The starting point is to recognize that we can’t give what we don’t live. If we want our home to be a lighthouse of God’s grace, it begins with us. When we walk with Jesus, revel in His grace, long for Him to be glorified, and delight in our friendship with the Savior, we can bring this Good News to the most important people in our lives, our children!
From Organic Outreach for Families (Zondervan) by Kevin and Sherry Harney.
